It's been three months since the passing of my brother, and to be honest, it still doesn't feel real when I truly think about it. It's hard to believe my brother is gone, actually gone, away from here, off this earth, nothing, no more. . . although he's with us in spirit, and our guardian angel, the morning of the accident is always fresh in my head, and any little thing can trigger it. I can remember every conversation I had with every person I talked to that day, exactly what I did, everything I said, thought, felt; it's incredible how vivid this memory is in my head. As much as the pain becomes easier to bear with as time goes on, little things bring back that day to my head & everything replays again as if it was happening:

1.) Sirens from an ambulance, police car, firetruck .. take me all back to when I woke up & heard them going to rescue my brother

2.) Ambulances' and how they tried to save my brother's life.

3.) Police lights, because that was the first thing I saw as I exited my neighborhood onto the crash site.

4.) waking up at 4 in the morning, because that's when it was about to happen.

As time goes on I'm sure I won't think about it as often as I do now, but I'm pretty positive these things listed above will forever be in my memory. Talking about it or thinking about it again and again help me go through it and become stronger as I do every time. 

xx